


Romance Novels and a Pirate

by wanderingjedihistorian (RangerJedi67)



Series: Playing in the Soft Wars Sandbox [24]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Hondo expands his business, Humor, M/M, Semi crack treated semi seriously, Shebse gonna shebse, Star Wars AU - Soft Wars, it's always Midday on Florrum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerJedi67/pseuds/wanderingjedihistorian
Summary: Hondo Ohnaka decides to write romance novels.Ponds decides to record the audiobooks for them.
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox/CC-6454 | Ponds
Series: Playing in the Soft Wars Sandbox [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725601
Comments: 20
Kudos: 143
Collections: Open Source Soft Wars





	Romance Novels and a Pirate

**Author's Note:**

> I know this sounds silly. It is. But enjoy!
> 
> Sometimes the shortest fics require the most prep work!
> 
> Many thanks to the people of the discord for the names of the novels and thanks to the people of the Jango/Obi server for helping flesh out some of the story summaries.
> 
> Many thanks to Evilkillerpoptarts, Tessedoesthings, and Shira for betaing and enabling!

SWSWSWSWSWSWSW 

After the end of the war, Hondo decided to diversify his portfolio. He enjoyed making the action figures and of course he would always be a pirate first and foremost! But change now and then was good. He had always been a fan of a good book and he had a list of potential ideas. He decided it was high time to write a few of them. 

The galaxy needed more good romance novels, in his opinion.

SWSWSWSWSWSWSW

A few months later, an announcement graced a small publisher’s holonet site:

_AkanhO OhnoH makes his literary debut with "Convenient Marriage, Inconvenient Husband"!_

_While on a mission in the Outer Rim, a young Jedi Knight finds himself at odds with a Mandalorian on a job that interferes with his mission. A complication results in a hasty marriage of convenience. Can love blossom or will they go their separate ways when the job ends?_

SWSWSWSWSWSWSW 

“Oh, this is so _cute_!” Ponds gushed.

Fox sighed. “What?”

Ponds waved the datapad around. “Apparently Hondo Ohnaka writes romance novels now. This one involves a Jedi and a Mandalorian finding themselves in a marriage of convenience. But rather than split up when they can, the Mando follows the Jedi around on his missions until they _really_ fall in love!’

Fox frowned. “Why do they have to get married? How could that _possibly_ be the best way to complete the mission? 

“Reasons! Very important plot reasons!” Ponds cried. “Where is your sense of _romance?!_ ”

He sighed dramatically at the look leveled at him.

SWSWSWSW

Hondo found the process fun, so when his first novel proved to be a success, he quickly finished up another for publication.

_Coming soon from new author AkanhO OhnoH: “Bounty on His Heart"_

_It should have been just another job for a skilled bounty hunter. But this hunter hadn’t counted on falling in love at first sight. Now he must protect his beloved from other hunters and hope for a chance to declare his love!_

SWSWSWSWSWSWSW

Ponds was thrilled when he got the announcement about Hondo’s third book.

_Coming soon from AkanhO OhnoH: “The Bounty Hunter Who Loved Me”, sequel to the smash hit “Bounty on His Heart.”_

“Yeeessss,” He squealed in excitement.

“Do I even want to ask?” Fox asked, not even looking up from the blueprints spread out in front of him. 

“Nope!” Ponds replied cheerfully.

After a moment’s thought he made a decision. He grabbed his comm.

“Cody! I need Hondo’s comm id. I know you have it!”

Cody sighed on the other end of the comm. 

“Yes, I do, but why do _you_ want it?” He asked skeptically.

Ponds huffed. 

“Hondo is writing romance novels now!”

Cody stared. “No comment.” 

Ponds rolled his eyes.

“He’s leaving a huge market untapped by not having audio recordings of them! I want to make a deal to narrate them for him!” 

“If I give it to you, I never want to hear anything further about this as long as we live.”

“Deal!”

SWSWSWSW

“And how are you on this fine day?” Hondo asked when the comm call connected.

“I hope I’m not interrupting your midmeal,” Ponds said when he saw the cup in the pirate’s hand.

The Weequay waved him off. “It’s always midday on Florrum!” 

The clone took that to mean it was alcohol in the cup.

“I’ve read your books,” Ponds said smiling brightly.

Hondo beamed.

“You are the brother of my good friend, the Vod’alor, and you have read my books! I am _touched_ , truly.”

The clone smirked.

“My friend, have you considered the vast untapped market connected to these books that you have neglected so far?”

The Weequay gasped. 

“Impossible! Whatever could you mean?”

“Audiobooks, Hondo. Audiobooks. I’m willing to record them myself,” Ponds explained.

There was a gleam in the pirate’s eyes that was visible even over comms.

“And what percentage were you thinking would be your share?”

Ponds just grinned.

“Now, Hondo. We’re friends. I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”

SWSWSWSW

_Coming soon from AkanhO OhnoH: Smuggled Off to Love_

_He was a smuggler. She worked in a small food shop. Everything changed the day they met._

_Also, to be released in audio form, with narration by Ponds of Lightning of Vode!_

SWSWSWSW 

Fox grinned at the message on his comm.

Cody: Fuck you very much. 

Ponds had intended to keep his word and not bring the books up again, but _he_ was bound by no such promise. With full blessings from Hondo, Fox sent Cody an advanced copy of the audiobook Ponds had recorded.

Fox was just being a considerate person. Ponds dedicated the recording, in part, to Cody after all. 

_To my partner Fox._  
_And to my darling, beloved ori'vod Cody. You'll never listen to this so technically this doesn't count as me mentioning the books._

SWSWSWSW

_Coming soon from AkanhO OhnoH: “Wild Fling or Wedding Ring?”_

_A dashing pirate hits it off with an attractive bartender at his favorite port. A passionate affair whenever he visits follows. Then the pirate realizes a marriage would be a great way to hide his spoils. Will consistency ruin the fiery passion they share? Or can they keep it alive?_

SWSWSWSW

Ponds rolled his eyes as he read the summary.

“And I suppose the dashing pirate bears no resemblance to you?” He asked.

Hondo gasped dramatically.

“Why would you ever ask such a thing? Of course, he doesn’t!”

SWSWSWSW

Another success and Hondo was on a roll.

_Coming soon from AkanhO OhnoH: “The Handmaiden and the Bounty Hunter”_

_Her oaths to her Queen are sacred, but he stole her heart in moments. He wants her to leave with him so they can travel the galaxy together. Will love or duty prevail?_

SWSWSWSW

Ponds made a mental note to send copies of this one to Padme and Sabe. He figured they would find it funny if nothing else.

He wondered if he should work them into his dedication. He decided he should.

_To my ever supportive but stubborn and irritable partner Fox._  
_And to Padme and Sabe, two of the fiercest ladies I know. If they happen to have handmaiden training, that is entirely coincidental._

SWSWSWSW

_Coming soon from AkanhO OhnoH: "The Desert Prince and the Defiant Virgin"_

SWSWSWSWSWSWSW 

**Author's Note:**

> The mentioned action figures can be found in [Unsolicited PR From A Pirate](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25582546/chapters/62085418). [ TessaDoesThings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaDoesThings/pseuds/TessaDoesThings) is doing a _great_ job with that fic! That's also where Hondo's pen name comes from.


End file.
